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To Sam

I hate my ethnicity

I know what your thinking. That i should love myself and my skin tone.

But i am Caucasian. So you are now thinking i have no right to say that, and how racist im being, and you are probably thinking “how can you say that.”. But i do. I wish i had some culture, or some meaning, but my ancestors, torched and kills millions, purely because of there skin colour or beliefs. That is all the ancestor and ’culture’ i have.

The slaughter and dehumanistion of millions of people.

And to be honest, as a proud fenimist, it goes against everything i stand for. People dont realise that i too hate the things white people did and, with some, still doing.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Your race and ethnicity can define you as much or as little as you like. For some people it can be a central part of who they are, but for others they prefer to let other things shape their identity. The past has a lot of good and bad things that people have done. Belonging to a certain race or culture now doesn't mean you have any responsibility for what happened in the past. It's good to learn from what happened before but it doesn't have to define who you are.

There are people from every race and ethnicity who have done terrible things, as well as those who have done good things. History has plenty of examples of the best and worst of humanity across all cultures. It’s important to recognise the terrible things people have done in the past and learn from them, but that can apply to all cultures and not just your own.

Culture and ethnicity are complicated and it's not simple enough to say that people's actions are due to their ethnicity or background. Usually we shape our beliefs and values from lots of places - friends, family, experience and many other things. All of these things combined make you the person you are - and it's those values that are most important.

The best way to show people who you are as a person is through your actions. If you are someone who treats people equally, make sure that comes through in the things you say and do. I'm glad that you recognise the things people have done wrong in the past, but try to look at what all people have done and not just your own culture and ancestors. I'm sure that you wouldn't judge other people based on their race or ethnicity, so it's important not to judge yourself either.

A positive way to look at the past is to find the best of humankind and remember that instead. Rather than focusing on the things that make you feel bad or angry, you might want to think about celebrating how different everybody is – including yourself – and how that makes the world a better place. Or you could make a top ten list of the women and men you think have had the most positive impact on the world and what we can learn from them.

Thank you for your letter, I hope this reply has helped. If you want to talk more, you can always contact one of our counsellors. Take care.


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