I'm 12 and transgender (FtNB) and my parents are quite good at understanding and using gender-neutral terms, but recently my mum has been talking to me about bras. I really hate wearing anything that makes me look feminine, like skirts, dresses, any tops that aren't baggy, etc. and usually I just wear a combination of sports bras, t-shirts and fluffy jumpers, but now that it's summer my mum is making me wear just t-shirts. I really want to get binders, but I feel like the conversation would be too awkward. Do you have any ideas for what I could do?
Sam
Hi there,
For lots of transgender young people, working out what helps them to feel comfortable can take time. Wearing binders helps some trans young people feel better, and it’s always okay to ask for support when you’re considering using them.
Binders compress someone’s breasts. Some trans young people wear them to express their gender identity and help with feelings of dysphoria. There can be some risks to using them so it’s important to get support before deciding if they’re right for you.
It’s important for anyone who chooses to wear binders to get support if they’re experiencing pain or negative physical symptoms. This could be from your GP, or by calling 111.
Starting difficult conversations with your parents or carers doesn’t always have to feel awkward, and there are ways to make it easier. Sometimes it can help to think about a time when you won’t have to look at each other, like when you’re driving. Other times, it can be helpful to bring it up in a message or letter.
It can help to remember that your mum might not know what a binder is, or how you’re feeling about wearing bras. Sometimes sharing information about binders can help others to understand how you’re feeling and make the conversation easier. Helping others learn more about you and what makes you feel comfortable can help them to support you.
For some young people, talking about binders or their gender doesn’t feel safe. Remember that if you’re feeling isolated or want support, you can always use Childline. We’re private and confidential, and you can get support from Childline about anything that might be happening.
Take care,
Sam
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