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hi sam im really struggling with my body at the moment. i wouldnt say im "fat" but i wouldnt say im "skinny" im some what in the middle but a tiny bit on the "fat" side. i want to loose weight but i dont know how to and i eat quite health. im too nervous to talk to my mum or dad about it and not sure what to do about workouts as i dont want to go to the gym and i dont want my parents finding out. its hard as well because all my friends are the "perfect" shape in my eyes but im just struggling to find selflove.
Hi there,
It can be normal to have things about ourselves that we aren't happy with. Most people compare themselves to others at some point and have things they would like to change but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Self-love is really important as liking yourself is more than just being happy with your body and how you look. It can be about building your confidence and self-esteem to help you be comfortable with you who are. No one is perfect and "perfect" can mean really different things to different people but everyone is unique and it's those things that maybe aren't celebrated enough in society.
There can be lots of different reasons for feeling this way and self-love can be hard to find. But being able to say how you feel is so important. Writing like this, talking to people you trust and hearing from others who feel really similar can all help.
Exercise can be a positive part of self-care and doesn't have to involve a gym - it can be about finding what works for each individual and what they enjoy, in an accessible way building into their day without having to make big changes, maybe even involving friends and being creative. And seeing the desired results can in turn increase confidence. Staying healthy and being kind to yourself is about looking after yourself from within.
Some people find positive affirmations helpful. These can be phrases like “I am good enough”, "I am worthy" and can help shift a mindset towards self-empowerment and self-love. Writing them down, keeping them close can help. When positive statements are repeated, they reinforce those beliefs and boost wellbeing. This is all really helpful to counteract negative thoughts.
Practicing self-love everyday can make it easier. One way of doing this is writing down one or two positive things everyday. That could be anything from the way you have styled your hair to a question you got right at school or how you made someone smile that day. Keeping a record of this to look back on is a good way to remind yourself but also getting in the habit of doing this will help you start to see yourself in a more positive light.
Seeing that other young people feel this way and hearing the things that help them with everything as well as everyone having a place to share positive messages and tips is always possible here on the message boards.
Hope this helps.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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