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To Sam

Teacher's leaving

Hi, After a long 5 weeks i finally began to trust a teacher of mine. We had a great time and she would help me in many ways. she was only a temporary teacher. unfortunately in December she got sick and had to leave earlier than expected. she helped me by telling me where her new job was so I could go to see her to give her a gift. i could not resume contact with her. im very anxious about returning to school in January. would it be a bad idea to contact her new wkrk place abd request ab email. i believe email her to update hef would help me feel mire confident as i have autism abd change is difficult.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Losing someone that’s important to you can bring up lots of emotions, and whatever you’re feeling is valid. It’s not always easy to build trust with people in your life, it can be one of the reasons it can feel so difficult when someone you trust is leaving. You’ve said that you want to keep in contact with your teacher to help make things easier.

It’s not usually possible to keep in contact with a teacher after they’ve left. When a professional you’re working with or a teacher moves on, their professional boundaries mean that they’ll have to say goodbye to the people they’ve worked with. It’s really important to check with your school or an adult you trust before trying to make contact again. People at your school will be able to talk to you about whether your teacher would be allowed to keep in contact with you, and if not can help support you with how you’re feeling.

You said that your teacher gave you the address of their new school so you could give her a gift. If you haven’t done that yet, it can help to think of it as a good way to say goodbye. Giving someone a small gift, a picture, or even a letter saying how they’ve helped you can be your chance to show them what they’ve meant to you. Even if you’ve already said goodbye, it might help to write down the advice they’ve given you or how they’ve helped you, so you can remember it in the future.

There’s no quick way to get over a loss, and it’s okay to give yourself time. It can take a long time to get used to a change, but you shouldn’t have to deal with it alone and we’ve got advice to help you cope. It can help to make a plan of who else you could talk to in school, and to think about telling them that you’re feeling anxious about going back. If your other teachers know you’re struggling, then it means they can be there to help more easily.

Even though it can take time, it can help to remind yourself that it is possible to trust other people in the future. Childline is always a space that you can trust, and you can talk to the counsellors here about anything that might be worrying you. If you’re worried about asking someone in your life for help, we’ve got advice to help, and you can speak to a counsellor for support any time. You can call for free on 0800 1111, speak online using the 1-2-1 chats or create an account to send a message to a counsellor.

Take care,


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