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My parents should divorce

My patents fight nonstop, it makes my younger brother really uoset and i cant do anything. My father trys saying everything in life we do is because of him. He abused my mother before she was pregnant with my now 9 year old brother. Ive tried stepping up for my mother (who always seems to be the issue in my fathers reasons to yell at her) but that just ended in me getting yelled at more then her.

Im only 13, but i understand that they should have never married. Outside the house they seem like the perfect couple, and everyone wants to be like them. My father only had his grandmother growing up, snd my mothers mom hated her snd both her parents forgot her 16th birthday so you would think they would want a better life for their children.

I cant find a way to get them to divorce, ive tried talking with my mother but she only shakes her head and starts crying. Shes scared to leave him, or that both me anr my brother will leave her. Can you give me some advice in what to do?

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Sam

Hi there,

Families can be a great place to live when everyone is getting along and supporting each other. All families go through difficult times but are often able to work through it and find a way to cope and live together.

For some people things are not so simple and life at home is hard, upsetting and frightening. Sometimes people at home hurt each other, which is called domestic abuse or domestic violence, and it’s not okay. Sometimes children in the family see what’s going on or get involved in the arguments. Remember: whatever is going on between parents, it’s not your fault.

Sometimes parents can’t see what’s happening around them and how it’s affecting other members of the family. You mention that you’ve tried talking to your mother but she doesn’t feel able to talk to you about it.

There are organisations that can help families in this kind of situation. One of them is called Women’s Aid and could be somewhere your mum could check out. She could speak to someone at Women’s Aid for help and support. They also have a children and young person’s website called The Hideout where you can find out ways to cope at home, keep safe and take positive steps to help yourself and your family.

I can hear that you’re doing your best to try and hold things together and find a way to help your family, including your brother. Childline would like to support you with this going forward and it would be great if you felt able to contact a counsellor to talk more about it.

Take care for now.

Sam

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