So im currently dating this guy who I want to be with everyday. But i cant help this feeling in the back of my mind that one day hes just gonna get up and leave. I always feel like this. I adore him to pieces and dont know what i would do without him. I just wish that i could talk to him about it withiut trying to sound like i dont want to be with him.
Hi there,
Being in a relationship can be exciting and scary. When you’re dating someone you like a lot you might feel happy that you’re together but worried about the future at the same time. It’s natural to want things to last when your partner’s someone you feel close to and want to be with. Some relationships last a long time and others might last only for a few dates. It all depends on how you get along as a couple. For a relationship to work, both people need to feel happy and comfortable to be themselves. Healthy relationships feel balanced and equal so that both you get to choose what you want to do or how much time you spend together. everything in your relationship is equal.
Most relationships feel positive at first and you might feel like you want to be together all the time. But this isn’t always realistic and it’s important you spend time with friends and family and keep a balance in your life. That way you’ll appreciate one another more when you are together, and you’ll have more to talk about and share.
There are lots of reasons people might feel scared a relationship won’t last. It’s important to think about your own self-esteem, and remember that he’s just as lucky to be with you as you are with him. If you’ve been hurt in the past, try to remind yourself that things won’t necessarily be the same again. No one knows what will happen in the future and feeling concerned or sad about something that hasn’t happened yet can stop you from enjoying what’s happening right now.
Talking to each other and respecting each other’s feelings are important in a healthy relationship. It’s usually a good idea to share what’s on your mind and to be as open and honest as you can. Your partner might be able to reassure you that they’re happy in the relationship too - but don’t expect them to say that the relationship will last forever as that can feel like a lot of pressure for both of you. Whatever happens in the future it can help to remember that you were okay without that person before and you can be again if needed, even if that’s not what you want to happen.
Thank you for your letter and you can talk more about relationships with one of our counsellors.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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