Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

i sent nudes and regret it

hey sam, back in october i was really close to this boy, we sent nudes to each other. i ended up telling my friends but its a thing that haunts me everyday. i started talking to my current boyfriend in december and we got together in january but it just causes so much anxiety for me everyday. i really dont want anyone else finding out. any advice? thanks x

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Sending nudes to other people is risky and something that you might feel pressure to do. You never have to send nudes to someone, no matter how much they make it seem like you do. The decision to send a nude only takes a moment but you might find yourself feeling anxious about it for months after.

If a stranger asks you for nudes then this could be an adult who’s looking to take advantage of you. It’s illegal to send, own or make any sexual images of someone under 18 years old. This law is there to protect you. If a stranger ever asks you for nudes it’s best to say no.

A lot of the time nudes are sent between young people who know each other. It’s natural to want to explore your sexuality and sending pictures can feel like a safe way to do this – but there are hidden dangers. You lose control of your image as soon as you send it and even if the person never shares it, the worry that they might can last a long time.

If you’re still friends with the person you sent the pictures to, it might be worth talking to them about it. You can explain how anxious it’s making you feel and ask them to delete the pictures. If they’re still friends they should do this for you. If they refuse, or you don’t feel comfortable talking to this person again it can be a little more difficult.

If you aren’t able to talk to the person you sent them to, it might help to talk to your boyfriend about it. Having his support might make coping with the anxiety a lot easier. I hope this advice has helped but if you need to talk, Childline counsellors are always here for you.

Take care.

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I would be especially interested in hearing more about how coronavirus might have affected you at home and at school. 

Write me a letter