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Hi sam, so recently i got groomed by someone 6years older then me and like its hard to get over him because he made me feel really happy. i know its wrong but i always seem to find myself talking to him or think about him im really trying to get over him and like ive been groomed like a few times but he was like the biggest one and he made me feel really happy even if it was wrong and i dont know how to get over him
Sam
Hi there,
It can feel confusing when you’ve been in an unhealthy relationship or you were groomed, especially when the other person would help you to feel good. It’s natural to find it hard to move on and it can take time to heal after what’s happened.
Grooming involves someone building trust and a connection with you, and that can make it feel hard to let go or move on when you’re able to get support and end things. Being groomed can happen to anyone, and it can be hard to realise it’s happening when someone is making you feel happy or meeting a need.
Talking about what’s happened with an adult who can help you is an important step. This could be with someone at home or in school, or to a Childline counsellor. You’re not alone in what’s happened, and you could even share your experiences with other young people on the message boards.
It can also help to think about ways to feel happier and more in control in other parts of your life. You could focus on small things each day that help you to feel positive, whether that’s a new hobby, spending time with people you trust, or just taking time to relax. We’ve got lots of advice on how to look after yourself.
Whatever’s happening, it’s important to keep sharing it with the adults in your life who can help keep you safe. Grooming can happen in lots of different ways, and one way to feel safer is by checking what’s happening with people outside of the situation. We’ve also got lots of advice on different signs of grooming to help.
Remember, you always deserve to be treated with respect and kindness by other people.
Take care,
Sam
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