Hi sam, me and my girlfriend are a couple, but sometimes when we're together and not together, i feel incredibly sad or hopeless, she's making me feel like that, but she's not doing it on purpose, she's just bad at reciprocating feelings. how do i ask her to try reciprocate, and is the relationship toxic? i love the highs (when she's friendly and loving) and dread the lows (leaves me to be with other people, is cold/quiet, etc)
Sam
Hi there,
It’s natural for relationships to have highs and lows sometimes, but if your relationship is leaving you feeling sad and hopeless then it’s important to think about the future.
Working out whether your relationship is toxic, healthy, or unhealthy isn’t always easy. Sometimes it can feel hard to tell whether something is okay or whether you should be concerned. It might help to try our relationship check-up to see if anything might be unhealthy. It can help to remember that it’s okay to feel like a relationship isn’t working, even if it is healthy.
If you’re feeling uncertain about your own relationship, it can help to ask yourself what you’d say if someone else had a relationship like this. Would you be worried about someone else if they said they felt sad and hopeless in their relationship? Try to think about how long things have been like this, and what it would be like for you if you stayed.
It’s important to share what’s happening. If it’s safe to, talking to your girlfriend can help you both talk about the future. It can also help to be honest about how you’re feeling with people you trust outside your relationship. If you’re worried about sharing things, then the message boards are a safe space to get advice from other young people as well.
Remember, you never have to stay in a relationship if you don’t want to. If you’re ever scared, worried, or unsure, the Childline counsellors are always here to support you.
Take care,
Sam
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