Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Lots of people struggle with their self-esteem or have times when they feel like they’re not good enough. It can be hard to break out of a cycle of negative thoughts, but there are lots of ways to start feeling better about yourself.

One method to help with negative thoughts is called “Catch It, Check It, Change It”. It involves just a few steps you can take when things start to build up.

First, catch your thought. If you’re doing your homework and something is hard, then you might start thinking something negative about yourself. If that happens, stop what you’re doing and write down what you’ve thought.

Second, check your thought. Remember, being stuck with your homework, getting things wrong, or needing help isn’t a bad thing. It’s a natural part of learning. You wouldn’t learn much or grow if you only answered questions you could already manage. Look at what you’ve written and think about whether there’s evidence for how badly you’re thinking of yourself.

Lastly, change your thought. Write down alternatives to what you’re thinking about yourself. For example, you could think that this question is hard, or that it might help to get some support with it. You could also write what a friend or someone who cared about you would say. After that, try writing about people you could speak to about it who might help, or things you could do next. Remember, your teachers are there to support you, and they’re not going to think you’re stupid or bad for wanting help with your homework.

Building your confidence and self-esteem can take time. Sometimes it can help to focus on small things you can do every day to help build yourself up. We’ve got lots of advice to help get you started. Remember, if things are ever getting too much or you’re feeling down, you can find ways to cope in the Calm Zone or even speak to a Childline counsellor.

Take care,

Sam