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To Sam

Not being able to speak to therapist

hi i have social anxiety and have been getting therapy for the last 9 weeks, it has helped a bit but i cant seem to be able to speak to her about how i really feel, for the past 3 weeks or so i have been feeling really sad and nervous. ive told her that ive been fine but i know that its not fine and i should tell her but my next session is the last so i dont know whether to just continue to pretent im fine or not. it might just be hormonal or soemthing but i dont want it to develop into somthing worse

Ask Sam


Hi there

It can be difficult to talk about your feelings, especially if you feel anxious or if you usually keep things to yourself. Therapy should be a safe place to be open about what’s happening but sometimes it can take time to get to know your therapist and feel comfortable with them. It’s okay to take things at the right pace for you and to ask questions so you know what to expect.

Lots of things can affect how you feel, like changes in your hormones during puberty, anxiety or having social anxiety. It’s not always easy to work out for yourself what’s making you feel unhappy, sad or nervous. Talking things through with someone else, like a therapist or another trusted adult, can sometimes help you to understand your feelings.

When something is worrying you it can sometimes be a big relief to open up and talk about it. Holding on to worries often makes them feel bigger and seem more unmanageable. Your feelings are important and finding ways to tell your therapist how things really are can help them understand and offer the right support. Remember, their job is to help you to get through a difficult time and they aren’t judging you.

You could tell your therapist that you’re struggling to talk about your feelings. Telling them that you’re finding it easier to pretend that things are fine when they’re not is a big step in being honest with them and with yourself. If it’s hard to say how you feel out loud it might help to write down your feelings or keep a journal to share in your appointment.

You deserve to feel happy and to get the most out of the support available for you. It’s okay to ask for help and you can also talk to a counsellor at Childline if you need support between your therapy sessions

I hope this advice has helped.

Take care


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