Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My friend is holding me back from recovery

i have an eating disorder and my friend keeps telling me to keep starving myself or to get thinner or exercise more. i told her that shes not helping and that shes making me worse but she wont listen. i tried to block her but i have a lot of social media and she manages to find a new way to contact me every time i block her. shes the least supportive of all my friends and i think that shes holding me back from recovering. weve been friends since forever but i think i need to cut ties with her. can you please give me some advice?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Friends are supposed to be a positive part of our lives, so it can be sad when they don’t support us in the way we’d hope. It’s okay to stop being friends with someone if they are having a negative impact on you. Social media can make things difficult when you're trying to cut ties with somebody, but as long as you do it sensitively then you’re doing nothing wrong.

When you're trying to recover from something like an eating problem, it can really help if those around you are supportive. If someone's doing things that make recovery harder you may need to change your relationship with that person.

What this person is doing to you is bullying – she's not respecting your wishes to block her which isn’t okay. It would be okay to tell someone you trust in school or college about what she's doing and how it's making you feel.

It is really positive you have recognised she's holding you back from your recovery, and that you need to be surrounded by friends who are supportive.

Beat have their helpline to offer support and information if you need advice about you eating problem and your recovery. Samantha from Beat also suggested you could read their blogs from people who have experienced similar feelings.

Remember that Childline is always here for you if you want someone to talk to as well.

Thanks for your letter.

Take care.


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