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To Sam

My daddy

My daddy died around 2 and a half years ago. I recently have been wondering how I can honour his memory in some way, life's sort of getting on top of me lately and I would like to slow down and remember him. Do you have any suggestions of what I could do?

-K

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Sam

Hi there,

When someone dies it can create all sorts of different feelings. We can feel lost and confused and not quite sure if we will ever feel any different. Finding ways to keep hold of positive memories is one way to cope, and I'm really glad you've asked me.

You might find that other people would enjoy sharing their memories of your Dad with you, so you could think about who you could ask. They might have ideas about how to honour his memory. It's important to remember that everybody grieves differently, so it's a good idea to choose the right time to ask, and how you'd like to ask them. They might not feel ready to do this yet. Each person will know what is right for them.

Another way to keep honour and preserve memories of a loved one is through a memory box. This could include photos of your Dad and things that remind you of him, and things you liked to do together. Some people find it helpful to write letters to someone who's died, as a way of feeling close to them. You could use our [bereavement message board](https://childline.org.uk/get-support/message-boards/boards/threads/?boardid=78&roomid=222) to find out what's helped other young people cope.

Slowing down and being good to yourself is a good way to release tension when you’re stressed. Focusing on pleasant physical feelings can help with this – having a relaxing bath, or eating something you really enjoy. Please remember you can always talk to a Childline counsellor. They can provide a safe and private space to talk about how you are feeling to begin to share your story.

Take care,

Sam

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