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for a while i’ve identified as bisexual, but recently i’ve been reconsidering my sexuality. i’ve always put on an act to make my friends and family think i was mainly into guys, but its only recently that i realised it was actually just me convincing myself i like boys. i don’t know what to do, i feel like everyone will be disappointed in me if i say im lesbian
Hi there,
Your sexuality is an important part of you. It’s natural for some people to change how they identify or talk about their sexuality, especially when it’s taken time for them to accept who they are.
You’ve not said the reason you think your friends and family will be disappointed by your sexuality, but it sounds like you’re worried you’ll be going against their expectations. It’s important to remember that your sexuality and who you are is always valid. You deserve to live your life without having to hide or worry about who you are.
When you’re worried about how people might react, it can help to test things out first. There are a few ways you could do this, for example you could talk about a celebrity’s sexuality or talk about other people you know. Talking about other people can be a safer way to look at how people might react, or hint towards how you’re feeling without having to say it.
It can help to remember that you don’t need to come out to everyone at once if you don’t feel ready to. Sometimes it can help to think about the people you feel safest talking to and sharing your sexuality with them first. Taking it slowly can help you to build your support network, especially when you’re worried about people not accepting you or being disappointed.
It can be really difficult coming out when you can’t control other people’s reactions. Someone you care about may not always react in the way you deserve, even if they’ll accept you and your sexuality in time. Sometimes it can help to talk about these feelings when you come out, it may even help to tell your family that you’re worried about them being disappointed, so they know what you’re going through.
Coming out about your sexuality should be your decision. You know more than other people whether it’s the right time or place for you. If you’re worried about coming out to people in your life, it might help to talk anonymously on the message boards about it. There are lots of young people talking there about their experiences who can help. Remember that you can also speak to a Childline counsellor any time about what’s happening, and we’ve got lots of advice to help you when you’re thinking about coming out.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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