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Asker

To Sam

I have no confidence

ive known for a long time that i have terrible mental health. ive been bullied all my life and as a result bully myself. i hate everything everyone does, myself more than anyone. i never feel i can succeed in anything because of who i am. how can i get more confidence in myself?

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Bullying can have a big effect on how we see ourselves, and it can knock your confidence and leave you feeling low or depressed. It can take time to build yourself up after being put down, but it’s possible to feel better about yourself again.

There are loads of small steps you can take each day to start feeling better about yourself.

These are just a few examples, but they can help anyone get started:

  • Try something new, it could be a hobby, craft, or even a club
  • Focus on keeping your head up and having a straight posture when you stand or walk
  • Say 1-2 kind things to yourself each day
  • Try to set a healthy sleep routine, so that you’re getting up and going to bed at healthy times
  • Do something each day that gives you a sense of achievement.

Even if these ideas don’t feel right for you, there are still lots of ways to help build your self-esteem, and Childline has lots of ideas that can help. One of the most important things you can do is talk about what’s happened.

Opening up to someone you trust about the bullying and how you’re feeling now can help you to start to see things differently. Sharing what’s going through your mind when you bully yourself can make it easier to challenge those thoughts when they happen, and it can give you a chance to see that others see you differently. It can take time to feel ready to open up, but we’ve got advice to help.

Being bullied is never your fault, nobody deserves to be treated that way and you deserve help to make it stop. Whatever’s happening, telling someone about it can make you feel less alone.

If you’re struggling to talk or you don’t have someone to speak to, Childline is here for you. You can speak to a counsellor at Childline any time about anything at all. You could send a message to a counsellor, come on for a 1-2-1 chat, or call for free on 0800 1111.

Talking about what’s happening to a Childline counsellor can help you to get things out, and you can talk through what you’d most like to do next. Some people talk to Childline once, but lots might talk to us a few times to help them feel more confident. They’re there whenever and however you need them.

Take care,

Sam

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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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