i cheated on my girlfriend online about 7 months ago, i realised it was wrong and completely cut contact with the person months later i still feel so guilty about myself snd the girl i cheated with has tried to follow me on soicsl media but i blocked her she lives in another country so my girlfriend probably wont find out but the guilt is killing me i dont want to say to her incase i hurt her shes so perfect i csnt imagine breaking her heart ive been stressed and guilt ridden for the past while i need help and idk what to do
Sam
Hi there,
Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, sometimes they are small, sometimes they are bigger and coping with the guilt of making certain mistakes can be difficult, but there is always support for you.
Sometimes when someone is in a relationship, they may cheat on their partner in different ways, and this can happen for various reasons. When someone cheats on another person, it can make them feel different emotions, from anger, guilt, to feeling numb or worried. Feeling these strong emotions can be difficult and it’s important to think about your options and how you will cope with these feelings. We have information and advice on some of these difficult feelings you might be experiencing, including coping with feeling guilty, and with regret.
One of the common worries people can have is if their partner or others will find out they have cheated. Sometimes it is unlikely that your partner will find out about the cheating, but at other times it can be more likely. Regardless, the guilt and worry about being found out can feel overwhelming. One option is to decide if you want to admit to your partner what has happened. Yes, it may be difficult to do and they most likely will be hurt, but doing this can mean you can take some control over what’s happened. If you are thinking about telling your partner, it can be good to think about all the different ways they may respond, this can help you to try to prepare for any possible reaction.
If you choose not to tell your partner, it can also be good to think about the positives and negatives of not doing this. It’s also important to think how you will cope with your feelings. None of us can change the past, but we can use difficult moments to see if there is anything we want to learn from it. You might want to think about what possible reasons led to you cheating and if those issues can be addressed within your relationship.
For many people they can find it difficult to open up to family and friends about their cheating. The Childline message boards are a safe place for you to get support from other young people who may have gone through a similar experience, to find out what they have done and how they have coped. You can also speak to a Childline counsellor online or on the phone who can support you with your feelings and help you to think about your options in more details.
Take care
Sam
Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Ask me a question
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
