Hi Sam, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately, like I don’t belong anywhere. Even at home, it feels like I’m never good enough—my family often points out things I do wrong, and it’s hard to shake the feeling that I’ll always fall short. At school, I try my absolute best, but I’m so scared of failing or disappointing my teachers and friends, since they have such high expectations, as I've been an overachiever all my life. But sometimes it feels like no matter how much effort I put in, it’s never enough for them and their expectations keep growing. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with everyone’s expectations, and I just feel stuck and constantly inadequate. I want to feel like I’m enough for someone, as I am, but right now I don’t know how to get there. I don’t know what to do.
Sam
Hi there,
It's natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes, especially when it feels like you're constantly trying to meet impossible expectations. It’s great that you’re doing your best, but it’s important to be kind to yourself in the process.
Accepting that you are enough can take time, and it’s all about changing how you feel about yourself and what you’ve achieved. It's easy to get caught up in trying to please everyone, but your worth doesn’t have to be defined by others' opinions.
Building your own self-esteem and worth can take time, but it can make a big difference to how you feel. Being more positive about yourself can be as simple as taking 10 minutes a day to list all of the things you’ve achieved, however big or small. It's also important to take care of yourself. It's okay to take breaks and look after your well-being. Remember, it's about doing your best and being kind to yourself in the process.
At home, it might help to have an open conversation with your family about how their comments are affecting you. They may not realise the impact their words are having, or that they’re ignoring the positive things you’re doing. Sometimes, sharing your feelings can help them understand and be more supportive.
As for school, it can help to try sharing these feelings with teachers you respect and trust. Your teachers can help to give you a different perspective, and challenge how you’re feeling about disappointing them.
Even if you can’t talk to the people in your life, you can speak to a Childline counsellor. Sharing your thoughts with someone who can offer a different perspective can be incredibly helpful.
You're not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and want to support you. Take things one step at a time and be kind to yourself. You deserve to feel happy and confident in who you are.
Take care,
Sam
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