Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I have low self-confidence. I'm so embarrassed to wear my glasses in public, even though I have nice framed ones that suit me. I always refuse to wear them and I end up getting embarrassed some way or the other. My eye sight isn't great; far from it. I can't see a person's face 100% clearly even if they stand 1 metre away from me. Like for example today a passerby asked me "is that your car?" as he wanted to park there and he said it 3 times but I was too blind to see that he was actually looking at me. He must have thought "oh wow that girl is so stupid". But finally I found out after a few moments and nodded my head no. I was so embarrassed I walked off. Another day I was waving at people who I thought were my friends...which was so embarrassing. So tell me Sam, what can I do? I hate wearing my glasses in public and my mum won't ever let me we prescripted contact lenses :(. My friends say I look pretty in my glasses but I never believe it. I've just turned 18 btw.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

I can hear how self-conscious you feel when you wear your glasses and that not wearing them causes problems for you.

You tell me that you feel embarrassed when you wear your glasses - sometimes we feel embarrassed by things that other people don’t even notice. It might be useful to think about how often you notice other people wearing glasses. You might then ask yourself how likely it is that other people are thinking negatively about your glasses. Glasses are really normal and most people won't judge someone for wearing glasses.

You tell me that you have nice glasses that suit you and your friends tell you that you look pretty in them but you don’t believe them. For some people it can be hard to accept compliments as they don’t feel they deserve them. This can sometimes be because they have low self-esteem or confidence. You might find it useful to have a look at our building confidence and coping with embarrassment pages.

It sounds like you feel wearing contact lenses would make you feel more confident but can’t because your mum won’t let you have them. As you are 18 you are able to make that decision yourself but you’d have to think about how you would pay for them if your mum won’t buy them for you. It is also worth thinking about if getting your own contact lenses would cause any problems at home. You don’t tell me much about how you and your mum get on but maybe you could ask your mum about her reasons for not wanting you to wear contact lenses. You could also visit your optician to discuss your options.

The counsellors at ChildLine are also here for you to talk to anytime, either by email, 1-2-1 chat or on the phone for free on 0800 1111.

Take care


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