Hi there,

Boundaries are what you do and don’t feel okay with. Everybody has them, and it’s okay to tell people what you feel comfortable with. Putting your needs first can feel difficult sometimes, but there are lots of ways to set healthy boundaries without being rude and without threatening people.

There are lots of ways to start setting boundaries. In the moment, you can use clear and simple are phases like, “Stop, I don’t like that” or “Hey, I don’t like to be grabbed like that”. It’s okay to repeat it and to say it firmly. We’ve got lots of advice on being assertive, with tips to help you practise how to things or express yourself calmly.

It’s not aggressive or rude to explain that you won’t put up with what someone is doing. For example, you can tell someone that you’ll move away from someone if they don’t stop or that you’ll tell a teacher. It’s always okay to walk away or tell someone when they’re behaving like this. There can be times when people won’t pay attention to your boundaries on purpose and this is never okay.

Remember, if someone is making you feel upset, unsafe, or scared then it’s important to get support as soon as possible. Sometimes it can be safest to walk away and tell someone, even when you’d prefer not to. If you’re ever struggling, you can always talk things through with a Childline counsellor.

You deserve to feel listened to without having to fight to be heard and you deserve to be supported.

Take care,

Sam