Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Not Comfortable With my Looks...

Dear Sam,

I am very self concsious with how I look and it's not fun. I constantly worry about so many things - am I too hairy? Are my thighs too big? Is my tummy fat? Are my spots too noticeable? Am I too short?

And so I hate wearing T shurts that show off my arms for fear of being teased for how hairy they are, or shorts because my thighs look massive in them. I always get teased for how short I am and I just hate all of these things and wish that they would go away.


Ask Sam


Hi there

It's normal to feel like you want to compare yourself to other people, but it's usually not very helpful.

Everyone is different and nobody has the perfect body or looks. Saying that you are "too" anything means that you don't feel happy with that part of yourself. Understanding where those feelings and insecurities come from can be the first step to changing them.

When we compare ourselves to those around us, it's hardly ever positive. Most people see the best things about someone else, without realising that the same person is probably feeling many of the same insecurities we can all feel from time to time. Worrying about your body, including your shape and size, is very common and something that takes time to learn how to handle.

Negative thoughts can often start a cycle where you can convince yourself that you don't look as good as those around you. Seeing people day to day can leave a good impression in your mind of what they look like, but the reality is that everyone has a body that is slightly different to everyone else. Social media has made it seem even more as though everyone else is beautiful, when really most people have the same insecurities you do. Remember that social media is just a snapshot of someone's life.

Understanding your own thoughts and about where these feelings come from is a good step towards changing them. Try thinking about when you first started thinking these thoughts and why. Getting to understand all this can help you get through those thoughts and start to build your self-esteem. Feeling good about how you look can lead to being more confident overall.

Remember that if you ever you want to talk to us, we're here for you.

I'm really glad you sent this letter, thanks for writing.


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter