Hi sam. Today we had an assembly at school about childline so i thought id look into it at home. I dont have a phone or messages so i cant call however i want to ask for help with my issue.

Theres this thing called the “eating thing” in my family. Ever since i was younger ive hated topics and discussion of eating plus i would only eat small amounts of certain foods. People in my family have always been dieting and often comment on my body. Im only an 11 year old girl (12 soon) but i know a lot about exercise and calories including most of the numbers on the back of food packets.

I just feel as if im too young or im not sick enough to have one, but since the age of 9 ive been very aware of my body, weighing myself daily. I would always skip meals to achieve being skinny when in reality i wasnt big either. When i was ten i was really focussed on exercise and the summer body i needed. I used to like faint a lot and get migraines however my parents (specifically my mum) wouldn’t take it to well and would just yell at me and take my stuff away if i didn’t eat.

The guy i liked at the time would constantly call me fat with his friends and call me a gross fat cow. I felt so ashamed. I still do. I wrote a letter to my parents after dieting for a while after my friends told me they were worried for me and thought i had something called “anorexia” which i then found out is a type of eating disorder. My parents hugged me and were really nice that one night i worked up the courage to talk to them. Then they never spoke about it again and i felt kind of let down since i just wanted help to stop feeling like this.

I was fine for like a year, still working out and weighing myself but eating a lot more and blocking out the voices reminding me of calories in my head. But i now hate my body as more people call me fat and i fear its getting bad again. Im lying about eating and wearing baggier clothes.

The only person ive told is my best friend of seven years, who just got into a huge fight with me. I dont know what to do. Im scared my best friend will tell my secret and that even though i want help from family, ill be to scared to ask for it. They are always forcing me to eat and to eat things out of my comfort zone and my grandma who lives with me is always calling me fat. Some people at school also call me a skinny stick tho , but im still unsatisfied. My bmi says im severely underweight. I dont know what to do. please give me advice on how to talk to people about this.