How do I deal with how I look? To put it simply, I’m ugly. Please don’t respond with some sort of comforting “Don’t say that about yourself!!!”, and leave it at that. I‘m sure I get discriminated by others because of how I look- I could do everything and there would still be a teacher who found something wrong about me. It sucks, I get looked at strangely by children and adults alike in the street, I got insults like “What are you looking at, you fucking cow?” followed by mocking, pig-like snorts yelled at me by a pair of probably nine-year-old boys, when all I was doing was walking across a road to my friend’s house. I got asked how many chromosomes I had by a classmate recently. I get asked “Why don’t you use makeup?”, or “What’s your skincare routine?” by many people (though I appreciate how those comments tend to be a lot less aggressive than some of the things said to me). It’s really hard to deal with, because my face (and body) is full of acne that won’t go away no matter the medication, and even without it, my face is still not that pretty. It’s happened all my life, in Year 3 (or something) I would get treated like I had ‘cooties’, and people would keep away from me. It’s been 5, almost 6 years since that and it is still how I get treated. How do I cope?
Sam
Hi there,
How we feel about ourselves can impact almost every part of our lives. It can make us feel less confident or like other people are constantly judging us. Learning to feel better about yourself isn’t always about changing your appearance, but it can mean finding ways to see yourself differently.
It’s not okay for other people to make comments about how you look. Whether it’s someone you know asking about your skincare routine or people on the street making nasty comments, when someone says something rude to you it says more about them than it ever does about you. It’s important to remind yourself that what they’ve done is bullying, and you don’t deserve it.
Starting to build your confidence in yourself can take time, so it can help to start small. One way to begin is by taking time each day to list one or two things you like about yourself. If your appearance is feeling negative, try to think about things you’re good at or something you’ve done in the past. However small, make sure you write down a couple of things each day.
There are lots of other things you can do to start feeling differently about yourself. Whether it’s trying a new look, taking up a hobby, or just talking to someone you care about, it can all help. Making time to do things that makes you feel good or proud can help you focus less on the things you don’t like. Try to think about what you’d most like to do, we’ve got tips to help if you’re struck.
An important step to coping and feeling differently is talking about it. Sharing how you feel with someone you trust or feel safe with can help them to support you can make you feel less alone. Talking can also help you to see the positive things that others see in you. Remember, whether you can talk to people in your life or not, you can always talk to us.
Take care,
Sam
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