I dont even know how to say this, but my dad is in jail for killing my granddad (his dad]. this is something i have only kept between my family and professionals who are involved in (therapists/teachers/police officers/etc). i made the mistake of telling people in school what my dad did, expecting to be bullied for it but the response is much worse because everyone is now scared of me in case i am like my dad in any way (i am not). people avoid being around with me. i tried telling people that my dad is in prisons now for what he did and i havent spoken to him in years but this doesn't change anyone's mind. i would prefer people bullied me than being scared of me. i am nothing like my dad and i want people to know this. i have spoken to my mum and teacher about moving school but im afraid someone might find out and it will be the same thing again.
Sam
Hi there,
Having a parent in prison is something a lot of young people go through but it’s not often talked about. No one should be judged for the actions another person took, what happened shouldn’t have to define who you are.
Being treated differently or avoided can feel isolating. It can feel difficult when people make assumptions about you based on something out of your control. What’s happening isn’t your fault and it shouldn’t be just on you to change things. It’s good that you’ve spoken to your teacher and your mum.
You said that you asked about changing schools. This can be a big decision and it’s natural to worry that the same thing could happen again. What you share about yourself should be your choice, and it can be helpful to talk about whether your new school could support you with making new friends. Some people find it helps to focus on building connections and strong friendships first before opening up or sharing personal information.
Even if you stay at your current school, you shouldn’t have to feel isolated like this. It can help to talk to your teacher or someone you trust about ways to build relationships in school. Your teachers could talk to you about things like group work or other opportunities to spend time with people and get to know them.
Talking to other young people who have had a similar experience on the message boards can also make things feel less isolating. Lots of young people with different experiences post there.
No one should be defined by the actions of a family member, and it’s important to focus on your own identity and values.
Take care,
Sam
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