Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My stepdad beats my mum

Hi, it's been going on for around 8 years and I haven't told anyone. My stepdad physically verbally and mentally abuses my mum. I finally told my school today but my mum dosent know that I have told them. What else can I do to stop this.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

The way your Stepdad is behaving towards your Mum is domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is never okay, and it’s not your fault that this is happening. It's also against the law, and you’ve done really well to tell me and someone at school about it.

You also have the right to report his behaviour to the police. You can call them on 101 to report it as a crime, or if you’re ever feeling in danger, you can call 999 for emergency help. If you don’t feel able to do that on your own, you can always talk to a Childline Counsellor to ask them to ring for help for you.

What’s happening isn’t your responsibility and it’s not down to you to try and make it stop on your own. Especially if it might put you in a dangerous situation. Your safety is really important, and our tips on making a safety plan can help you to think about somewhere safe you can go and have a contact number for somebody you trust if you need to talk to them.

When somebody is hurting or mistreating someone else and you see or hear it all the time, this is called emotional abuse. It’s very wrong for him to be hurting your Mum. It’s also not okay for you to be around violence. You deserve to be in a safe place and it’s really important that you have support for what you’re going through.

Childline counsellors are there to listen any time you want to talk. I’m not sure how much you spoken to your Mum about how you feel, but it could be a good idea to tell her how you feel and see whether you can make a plan together.

I wonder whether you'd feel comfortable letting her know about Women’s Aid, an organisation that can support women and their families to leave abusive situations. You might also find it helpful to take a look at Victim Support’s website for information and support for people who have been victims of a crime.

I’m really glad that you wrote to me about this and I hope that you get the support you need.

Take care,


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