hi sam, my parents really want me to pursue swimming since I was really good before i got a shoulder injury, and i hate swimming but i dont know what to do because they are trying to make me go to rehab at school. i have been skipping it because i dislike it so much but i have been getting in trouble with my parents because of it and they dont understand how upset they are making me feel. It feels like they are forcing me to do something that is messing with my mental health and making me feel suffocated. I am the youngest out of me and my sister and it feels like im the 3rd favourite, My sister is perfect aka a golden child, the perfect daughter. Meanwhile I quit and get into some trouble at school while my sister has a perfect record. It just feels unfair. I dont know how to tell them how I feel.
Sam
Hi there,
It’s okay to move on from something that no longer feels right for you, it’s a natural part of life. Just because you’re good at swimming, you shouldn’t have to keep doing it if you don’t want to.
When parents or carers put pressure on us, it can start to feel stressful. Even though avoiding your rehab might help you to avoid that stress, it sounds like it’s causing more arguments overall. It can be helpful to think about the best ways to talk to your parents about what’s really going on.
There are lots of ways to make it easier for your parents to understand how this pressure has been affecting you. Sometimes writing everything down can help make it clearer. For example, you could write down the reasons you don’t want to keep going swimming, or how hard you’re finding the rehab. You could also write down how the pressure is affecting your mental health.
You can’t control how your parents may react to what you write, but it can be a good way to start the conversation. As well as thinking about the things you don’t want to do, it might help to speak about the things you would like to be doing as well.
Parents and carers are there to support you, and it can help to think about what support you’d most like from them. If speaking to your parents doesn’t feel like an option, you can talk to a trusted adult at school. They may be able to help you speak to your parents or support you with how things are making you feel.
You are your own person, and you should never feel pressured to be the same as your siblings. You’re not alone with this and we’ve got lots of advice to help you feel better about yourself.
Take care,
Sam
Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Ask me a question
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
