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I think I might be selfish for this. My sister has recently became a double amputee after getting meningitis. I am glad she is ok so why am I so jealous? She is getting all the attention and I feel neglected. I wish I had that same attention. Is that bad?
Hi there,
When a family member goes through a life changing injury or illness, it can have an effect on everyone. It’s always okay to need support and attention when things have changed suddenly.
It sounds like you care a lot about your sister and are happy she’s okay. At the same time, it seems like things have left you feeling left out and maybe a bit invisible. It’s not selfish to crave attention or support, and wanting to be noticed doesn’t make you a bad person.
Sometimes it can help to remember what jealousy is. Often when we feel jealous, we’re scared about losing something. When your sister is getting the support she needs, it sounds like you’re feeling scared of losing the love and support you need.
It can help to think about ways you can get the support you need. You could try to make time with your parents or carers when you’re just spending time together alone, if that’s possible. It can also help to think about the people you trust outside of your home who can support you. Speaking to someone at school or in your wider family can really help. You always deserve to have dedicated time just for you.
If you’re able to, it might also help to spend time with your sister doing things you both enjoy. Making time to do things just for fun can help you both feel closer and can make it easier to cope with feelings you’re having towards her injuries.
Remember, you’re not alone. Childline is a space where you can get confidential support without judgement. You can get support from a counsellor any time both online or on the phone. You can also share how you’re feeling any time anonymously with other young people on the message boards.
Take care,
Sam
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