Hi there,

Recognising that a friendship is toxic or unhealthy is an important first step to feeling better. Ending a friendship can feel difficult, but it’s important to remember that you should never have to keep up a relationship that makes you feel unhappy or unsupported.

One way to start cutting off a friendship is to avoid actively engaging with someone. For example, you can make sure to never start a conversation, ask them to join you for plans, and to avoid saying yes to doing new things with them. It can take time, but pulling away slowly can help the friendship to end naturally. It can also help to set clear boundaries about when you can’t talk, for example by not replying to messages in the evening.

When setting boundaries and pulling back from the friendship hasn’t worked, it can help to think about being direct about how you feel. Remember, you don’t ever need to stay in a friendship or relationship that you don’t want to. If it feels safe to, it’s okay to be clear and tell them that you don’t want to be friends with them anymore.

Being assertive when ending any relationship can feel difficult, but there are things that can help. Try practising what you want to say first, clearly and politely. You can talk to someone over message or in person, and you can plan what you’d like to do after. If someone continues to try contact you after you’ve ended things, another practical step you can take is to block their number and social media accounts.

It can also help to lean on other supportive people in your life, such as trusted friends, family members, or school staff. Letting others know that you are ending a friendship with someone can mean that you aren’t handling everything on your own, and so they can support you through it.

It can sometimes be hard to tell when a relationship or friendship is turning toxic. If you’re not sure if something is okay or you just want some support, the Childline counsellors are always here for you.

Take care,

Sam