Chat ready: please press 'Go to chat' and your counsellor will be there
The counsellor can wait up to 2 minutes. They have been waiting:
Concerned about confidentiality? Why not ask the counsellor you chat to about this?
You are now in the waiting room
Please stay on our website so you know when a counsellor is ready. Please don't move to a different tab or app as you may lose your place in the queue.
I'm just now giving thought to the fact that when I was younger and I didn’t have any friends, my parents got me some sort of 'befriender' to spend time with me out of school hours. At the time I liked that someone, apart from my own family, took an interest in me and wanted to spend time with me. I now realise she was doing it out of obligation and she didn't choose me specifically. I still have no friends, but I could never imagine someone being forced to be my friend. It makes me feel like a pathetic loner and I know it is unlikely anyone else in my class will have had the same experience. It also makes me feel like no one will ever like me, except out of obligation and I will never have proper friends.
Sam
Hi there,
Needing support making friends doesn’t make someone any less worthy of friendship. Lots of young people have different experiences growing up, and it’s common for people to get support in all kinds of ways, including having a befriender. You’re not alone.
Just because this person was a befriender, it doesn’t mean the connection wasn’t real. People often work or volunteer in roles like that because they genuinely care and enjoy building relationships. Your befriender might have been arranged to support you, but the way they responded, listened, and enjoyed your company can be very real.
Friendships can take time and often come when you least expect them. We have lots of tips for making friends, such as looking for ways to meet people with similar interests, like through clubs, hobbies or online spaces that feel safe. The message boards can be a good place to chat with other young people as well.
Remember Childline is here for you. You can always get support with how you’re feeling or even talk through ways to meet new friends and talk to new people.
Take care,
Sam
Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Ask me a question
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
