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To Sam

sexual harassment

hi, im a 16 year old girl and recently one of my families friends has been making me feel uncomofortable. i went to the pub on my own last night to see him (my other friends were there) and he tried to kiss me but i refused and just laughed it off. this morning he messaged me asking for nude photos. i obviously said no as hes 18 years older and i dont see him that way.

do i tell my family about this? he kept asking and calling me sexy. i have no interest in a sexual or romantic relationship with him whatsoever but im not sure how to handle it

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

It sounds as though you’re aware that it’s wrong for this man to be treating you in this way. You did really well to refuse to kiss him, or send any photos, but you should not have to deal with that sort of pressure. No one should try to force or threaten you to do anything you do not want to do.

You should be free to make your own choices. Especially when they relate to your body and personal intimacy. Our Listen to your selfie page explains more about this.

It is against the law for an adult to ask someone under 18 to send them nude photos so this man has broken the law by asking for those photographs. If you have kept his messages you could show them to someone else as a way of starting a conversation about how he has been treating you. Find out more about sexting.

It is worth remembering that once you send an intimate or private image to someone you will lose control over it and what happens to it, so it is really important to consider this if you feel you want to send an image or someone is pressuring you to do so.

It's natural to feel unsure about whether to talk to anyone else right now. But if you did choose to report this you can do that on the Thinkuknow website or talk to a Childline counsellor who can report it for you. You can also read more about coping when asked for nude photos here on the DisrespectNobody website.

I’m glad to hear that your friends were there when you met him. It’s important that you don’t meet anyone who is making you feel uncomfortable by yourself. This man is treating you in an unacceptable way so talking to an adult you trust would be a good idea so you can get more support.

If you are feeling unsure about who to tell you could speak about this more with a Childline counsellor online or on the phone, as well as talking more about what’s been happening and how you are coping with it.

Take care,

Sam

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