Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Relationship Trouble

Hi Sam, I've had a boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and it's not as good as it was before, and we hardly see each other or talk anymore. He doesn't treat me right but I still love him, I want to talk to people about it but when I try they don't seem to want to listen. I'm really upset and dont know what to do with him because I've become so used to him it would be strange without him there. What can I do?

Ask Sam


H there,

Being in a relationship can be great when it’s going well, but challenging when things aren't so good between you. Finding it hard to spend time with each other can add to this pressure and leave you feeling upset and unsure about what to do next. But it’s natural to feel like this.

Relationships can be healthy when you have respect for each other, when there's trust and honesty, and when you feel as if you’re both equal. But relationships can be unhealthy when things don’t feel right, or one person controls or puts pressure on the other. It’s important to think about what feels best for you.

Communication is also important to a healthy relationship. It’s good that you’ve tried talking to others for support, but talking to your boyfriend might be the next step. Being open and honest about your feelings may help him to understand why you’re feeling upset and what needs to be done for you to feel happier.

When we care a lot about someone it might seem difficult to imagine not having them in our life. But with the right support, it's possible to move on from a relationship that doesn't work out.

If you don’t feel like your relationship is going in the right direction you might want to think about talking to a counsellor for support. You can do this by phoning 0800 1111, sending an email or having a 1-2-1 chat. There's also some good advice from other young people here on the Relationships message boards.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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