Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

My friend is ignoring me and potentially doing class A drugs?

hiya, idk how to write this letter but ill try anyway. ive been best friends with this person since we were in reception (primary school), and now we are both going go uni soonish, but since just after my birthday (before quarentine), they’ve been sort of ignoring me, it was super hard to try and get them to come even then, but from the last few months they’ve been blanking me for no reason. i‘ve heard from my other friends that they’ve been trying to fit in with the other “edgier” kids in their class and started doing CLASS A DRUGS?? like why wouldnt they tell me that? we’ve been best friends forever and suddenly they wanna be ”cool” ig. if i knew and we were still talking id be really angry / upset with them but idk what to do. do i talk to them or their mum or siblings? i don’t know what to do bc im sort of embarrassed too just popping up now with that question. i really miss them. what should i do?

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Everyone has to make personal choices about what they want to do. Drugs are dangerous and illegal because they can either kill someone or become addictive and take over parts of a person’s life. If someone chooses to take drugs they’re also choosing the risk that goes with it. This can be hard to see when you care about someone.

When a friend starts taking risks that make you concerned for them, it’s ok for you to say how this makes you feel. The choices your friend is making also have consequences for the people round them. It's sometimes difficult to know what to say or how to approach a friend about the choices they've made so it's important to think carefully about how they might take what you’re telling them.

If you think that telling them how you feel might push them away, you could try doing things that remind them why you’re friends  in the first place. If there are certain activities or hobbies you share then perhaps doing some of those things with them can make them feel closer to you.

If they keep ignoring you then you need to do whatever it takes for you to feel better. Your feelings are important and if you’re worrying about your friend then it's okay for you to pass responsibility to someone else who knows them, like a parent or a teacher. Obviously, you want what's best for your friend and telling someone else about their drug use might end the friendship, but it sounds like they have been making that choice already by ignoring you. You shouldn't have to spend your time worrying about them if they’re choosing not to be friends with you anymore.

If you want to give your friend some resources that could help them you can try starting with Talk to Frank as this has useful advice on the specific drugs they might be taking, as well as links to get help if they need it.

Thank you for sharing this with me, I hope it's helped. I know losing a friend can be difficult - and it might turn out to be a temporary rough patch between the two of you - but in the meantime if you need support you can talk to Childline counsellors. They are there to listen and help you cope with the difficult feelings you have about what's going on. You can also post on Childline’s message boards and get tips and advice from other young people who’ve had similar experiences.

Take care.

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I would be especially interested in hearing more about how coronavirus might have affected you at home and at school. 

Write me a letter