Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

It’s never okay for someone to threaten you as a way of making you do something. There's a difference between telling a trusted adult something out of concern and using it to control what another person does. Even when someone needs support, threatening to tell people personal things about you is blackmail and can be a form of abuse.

There are lots of reasons someone might feel worried about their addiction being found out. You could be worried that the person won’t understand, that you’ll be in trouble, or that you’re not ready to stop. Even when you’re feeling uncomfortable, getting support can help.

Talking to your mum or another adult you trust about your addiction can help in lots of different ways. It can help you feel less alone about what’s happening, give you ways to stay safe, and help you work towards a recovery. There are different ways to start a difficult conversation, and we’ve got advice to help. Getting support for your addiction could also help to take away from the power your ex has been trying to have over you.

When someone threatens you, it can help to take time before you respond. Sometimes it can even help to turn off notifications for a while to give you a break or time to think. When that’s difficult, you can always speak to one of our counsellors for support.

Whether you choose to continue supporting an ex or not should always be your choice. Your mental health and wellbeing matters too, so it’s okay if you want to step away or set your own boundaries.

It can help to remember that you don’t have to be the only person supporting your ex. You can talk to them about speaking to their doctor or someone they trust in their life. You could also suggest that they speak to us. We have lots of advice and support for coping with suicidal feelings.

Take care,

Sam