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To Sam

My deaf friend

Hi sam, I have a deaf friend. She wasn't always deaf because she was my best friend ever since I was little but after a horrible accident, she was deaf. It hasn't been long since the accident, its been 7 months and our friendship is not the same. She goes to a different school now and we rarely see eachother. We can't talk on the phone but we text eachother and it seems the best. The last time I met up with her was 2 weeks ago and I am going to see her again in 2 weeks. Although our conversation is friendship goals, the last time we saw eachother was very awkward. I tried to learn sign language for her but I don't have a very good memory so I forgot all of it. I kept speaking and I completely forgot she couldn't hear. Once she started crying and I cried as well and everything was a mess. I want everything to be how it was. I try to tell her I miss her and I love her( as a friend) but how do I say it? Please reply back to me before my next visit, thankyou.

Ask Sam


H there

Getting used to life after a big change like losing your hearing can be confusing and complicated. It’s natural that things will change in some way now that you will communicate in a different way than you are used to. Whilst things may never be exactly as they were, there’s no reason your friendship can’t be just as good, or even better, than before the accident. Being deaf has not stopped your friend being who she is inside.

Wanting to carry on being able to talk to her by learning sign language shows how much you care. This is a really positive step to take and should make your friend feel supported even if you forget some of it.

It can sometimes feel like there is a lot of pressure to help someone to feel better, but your friend needs time to accept the changes and adjust to the differences she now faces. It’s natural to want to be able to change things for your friend and want to make them easier. Sometimes just letting her know you're there and that being deaf hasn’t changed the way you feel about your friendship is enough to help her adjust.

Childline has a deaf zone with lots of support for deaf people, this is something you could read through yourself or let your friend know about as she's always welcome to come and talk to a counsellor or use the website too. If you'd like to talk through your feelings with a counsellor they can support you and talk through your worries about the changes to your friendship.

Take care


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