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at one point i told my boyfriend id have sex with him but on recent thought i’ve decided that id rather wait until im older as im only 16. does it make me a bad person to tell him ive changed my mind on the whole thing? and how do i even tell him?
Hi there,
Changing your mind about doing something sexual never makes you a bad person. Consent is all about agreeing to do something, it’s natural to have times when you feel differently or want to stop. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable in your choice. Your feelings matter, and your boundaries are yours to set.
When it comes to telling your boyfriend, honesty and openness are key. There are lots of ways you could start the conversation with your boyfriend. Sometimes it can help to start things with a message, but you know what’s right for you.
You could say something like, "I’ve been thinking a lot about the decision we talked about, and I’ve realised I’m just not ready yet. I feel better waiting until I’m older." You don’t need to apologise for changing your mind, it’s just about communicating how you feel.
It might feel awkward at first, but it’s better to have the conversation. Your partner should always respect and support your decision.
If you’re worried that someone won’t listen or will react badly when you tell them, then it’s important to get support. You could speak to an adult you trust, or to Childline. You can learn a lot more about healthy and unhealthy relationships here.
Childline is here for you anytime. It can also be helpful to talk about this with other young people on the message boards who can share their experiences.
Take care,
Sam
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