i'm writing this because i'm just really confused, so i am growing up in quite a christian home and town and everyone basically says that sex is bad until you're married or you're a man. because apparently men can do pretty much anything and women just have to accept it.
but until you're married (as a girl) you're told that sex is bad bad bad and then once you get married you should do it non-stop and like it to get pregnant, which then you're respected. but then i move to my aunt's (She's an athiest) i go to school in the city and everyone is talking about sex like it's a good thing and that if you haven't had it then you're boring and uptight, and i'm just getting really confused on why it's bad until your married (as a christian)
But okay if you're not married or not a christian (at least not an orthodox christian which my home and town is) and i know some people have different upbringings and rules but it's just getting to me.
Sam
Hi there,
Being sexually active is something only you can decide about. It’s natural for you to think about your religion and what other people are saying, and lots of things might change how you feel as you get older.
Whether or not someone wants to be sexually active doesn’t change who they are as a person. Not wanting to have sex doesn’t make someone boring or uptight, but someone isn’t doing anything wrong if they feel like they are ready to be sexually active.
The most important thing about being sexually active is consent. Consent is when someone understands what’s happening and agrees to it without feeling pressured or scared. The age of consent in the UK is 16, and you can find out more about what consent is here.
No matter how you feel, it’s important to remember that marriage doesn’t mean you have to consent to doing something sexual. Nobody should ever pressure you or expect you to do something just because you’re married or in a relationship. It’s always your choice about what you feel comfortable doing.
If you’re unsure how you feel about sex in your religion, it can help to speak to an adult you trust about it. This could be a religious leader, or even someone outside your religion like your aunt.
Some young people find talking about sex embarrassing, but it can also help a lot when you’re feeling confused. If you’re worried about who to talk to, Childline is always here for you.
Take care,
Sam
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