Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

It can feel tough when you’re trying to support a friend or partner, especially when they’re being hurt or abused. It’s important to remember that both you and your boyfriend can get support.

Emotional abuse can come in lots of different forms and it’s not always easy to recognise. It might include someone being put down or called names, being constantly criticised, or being made to feel uncared for or excluded. If you’re worried that someone might be experiencing this, there are a few things you can do:

• Be there to listen
  Taking someone seriously and being there to support them can make a big difference to their ability to cope. It can help show someone they’re not alone and give them a chance at a distraction.

• Help them get support
  Helping your boyfriend to speak to someone at school, college, or even their GP about what’s happening can help to change things at home. They can also speak to social services about what’s happening.

• Make a plan for if things get too much
  If your boyfriend is feeling unsafe or needs support straight away, then it can help to make a safety plan. This can include where to go, who to speak to, and what to do.

• Get support yourself
  It’s okay to get support for yourself, helping someone else can feel overwhelming sometimes. It’s also okay to tell someone else what’s happening if you’re worried about their safety, but it’s better if you can help your boyfriend to do this.

Your support can make a big difference in your boyfriend’s life, but it’s a lot for you to have to try and stop it or protect him by yourself. It’s always important to help someone get support if they’re being hurt.

Both you and your boyfriend can speak to Childline any time about what’s happening. The Childline counsellors are here to support you with anything and can speak to you about ways to get support and cope.

Take care,

Sam