Dealing with self-harm urges

Distractions are one way to take your mind off your self-harm. There are lots of things you can try, but everyone is different. What works for someone else might not be right for you.

Not sure where to start? Why not try:

• going for a walk
• popping bubble wrap
• learning 10 new words in another language
• writing or drawing something
• watching TV or YouTube
• doing laundry or pairing socks.

There’s no limit to what you can try. And you can get more ideas in our Coping Kit.

Telling someone else how you’re feeling can let you get your feelings out. And you can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable. Even just sharing that you want to self-harm can help.

It can be hard opening up, but you’re not alone. You could:

• talk to an adult you trust, or to a friend
• speak to a Childline counsellor
• write an anonymous letter to Ask Sam

Even if you can’t share it with someone else, it can help to write it down. Try writing how you feel in a journal.

Whatever you’re doing, try to set small goals. Try setting a timer to do something else for just 5 minutes. If you haven’t self-harmed after the timer stops, set another and keep going until the urge passes.

Even if you self-harm in the future, it can help to remember any times you’ve managed to stop yourself. 

Making time to look after yourself can help you to have more energy and feel more able to cope when you are getting urges. And you can do small things every day to help:

• exercise, or do something physical every day
• keep in touch with friends or people you care about
• try to do one thing each day to be proud of, even if it’s small
• eat healthily
• build your confidence and self-esteem
• make sure you’re getting enough sleep
• do something you enjoy every day

Having a plan of what to do when you feel the urge to self-harm can make it easier to cope with the urges. It can help as well to think about what things bring on the urges to self-harm, so you can prepare for them in the future.

A plan of what to do could include different things to try when you want to self-harm, reminders that you can get through it and information about who you can talk to. You could also try making a Mental Health First Aid Kit to tell you what to do if things are getting too much.