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Self harming and body image

well i have self harmed twice been to the jem center 6 times but i dont want to tell the why i do it and my body image its hard because im tall and skinny so clothes hang of me and that makes me feel wierd because yep ive got small boobs but i dont want big boobs because my boyfriend doesnt care at all i feel sad sometimes for now reason my mom thinksbi have bipolar or adhd but it doesnt matter what i have i will still be loved but when im at school i just most of the time like to be alone but i cant at all because my friend is always with me and im 12 qnd bi sexual and my friends are fine with it and my bf is but i l have told nobody else and i dont now what to do please help sam
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Having a lot on your mind can sometimes build up to make you feel sad or confused. You’ve told me that you have self-harmed recently and it sounds like this is a way you’re coping with these feelings. You mentioned that you’ve told someone about your self-harming, which was good idea. Hopefully they’ve talked to you about how to keep safe when you self-harm, and suggested some other ways to cope when you feel like self-harming. You might also find it helpful to talk to a counsellor at ChildLine when you’re feeling like you want to self-harm. Sometimes talking through your thoughts can take away some of the need to self-harm. 

Lots of people have different types of worries about their bodies, especially when going through puberty when your body is changing and still growing. All bodies are different, but sometimes it’s difficult to remember that.

Looking around in magazines and on TV it can feel that everyone has perfect bodies. It can feel like there’s a certain type of body you should have. But if you look around in real life, you can see that everyone develops and grows in different ways and at different times. There is no such thing as 'normal'.

Feeling happy and confident in your own body can be a challenge. And talking through the bad feelings you have may help you accept who you are. Hopefully you can learn to love who you are. You could look at some tips on things you could do to make you feel better about yourself on our body image page.

Your mum knows about how you’ve been feeling and she thinks you may have bipolar disorder or ADHD. Only doctors can diagnose conditions like that. So one option would be for you and your mum to see a doctor and explain the types of things you have been struggling with. Your doctor will know the next thing to do and also what support there is available for you.

I want to let you know that it is okay to choose who you tell and when you tell anyone about your sexuality. This is your business and there is no rush to come out. It’s important to not feel pressured and to really think this through carefully. You might find it helpful talking through some of your thoughts with a ChildLine counsellor.

I hope that you’ve found this useful, and please remember that if you want to talk through anything in more detail then a ChildLine counsellor is always there to listen and support you.

Take care,

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