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To Sam


I have been self-harming for at least a year, my parents don't know. My boyfriend wants me to get proper help because I'm having more and more suicidal thoughts and depressed 'patches' they are taking over my life. What should I do? I don't want to tell my parents because I don't want to hurt them and im scared they will be angry with me, but I think I might need help.. What should I do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Self-harm is often something people feel they need to keep to themselves. Often it can be hard to think about sharing the fact you self-harm with other people, especially when there are feelings of suicide too. Although it’s hard, telling someone that you feel suicidal is really important.

One of the reasons self-harm can be difficult to tell someone else about is because you might be worried how people are going to react. Sometimes people are worried that their parents might be upset. Other times they might think that people will judge them.

I can hear that you are concerned that telling your parents about this will worry them, but this is something that parents are there for. Your parents should understand that part of their job is going to be helping you through the tough times.

Not everyone has parents that understand this. It might be that you have other adults in your life who you can trust more than your mum or dad. It’s up to you who you choose to talk to about this, but it’s really important that you do talk to someone. We have a page about asking an adult for help which you might find useful.

If there’s nobody in your life you can trust to turn to, there’s always ChildLine counsellors. They can be there for you when you need someone to share difficult feelings with.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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