Ask Sam letter


To Sam

self harm

Note: We have changed a few words in your letter but the meaning has not changed.

my brest freind self harms and i found out recently that she has been doing it.I told her my biggest secret ever and she said how do you not cut?that day my problem got worse i cut my wrist several times aswell as my stomach and thighs i dont know what to do or how i can stop.
please help me
Thanks a*

Ask Sam


Hi there A*

Thanks for your message. It sounds like you would like to stop self-harming so you have done the right thing to ask for some help. You don't say in your message if you have cut again since the time you mentioned, but it’s important to know that you can get support if you ever feel like self-harming again. Some people use self-harming as a way of coping with problems that might be happening. It sounds like you cut yourself to cope with how this problem left you feeling.

The first thing that might help is to get some support with the problem you are having. You don’t say what this problem is, but you could take a look at the Explore section of our website and the message boards to see if there is any help or advice that feels right for you.

It's important to stay safe. If you are worried about your cuts or you are bleeding more than usual, it’s always best to get them checked by a doctor or nurse. If your cut is serious, it’s okay to call 999. You can also contact your doctor or walk-in centre. Some young people find it helpful to speak to a ChildLine counsellor once they feel the urge to cut but before they harm themselves. It can help to talk about and explore the feelings that makes you want to cut as well as talking to someone you trust as a distraction.

Self-harming can help some people to cope with problems that they are having, but young people also tell me about lots of other things that help them to cope too, but are also much safer. Some examples could be doing sport, reading, writing a diary, or something crafty like painting or playing an instrument. Sometimes it can be hard to imagine that anything else would work, so it’s always a good idea to give safe and positive things a go, just to see how they feel. Sometimes it can also help you to find a new hobby too. You can find out a bit more about this on our self-harm coping techniques page or look at the message boards where other young people share their advice, support and experiences.

I do hope you will have a think about talking to a ChildLine counsellor, and if you felt able, someone in your life who you trust.

Take care,

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