Ask Sam letter


To Sam

School Nurse

My form tutor took me out this morning and basically said that he can tell there's something wrong with me and that i'm not myself. I didn't tell him about my self harm because one of my friends was with me, and she doesn't know either so i didn't want to shock her. But she knows about my eating problems, so she told him that and i explained how i normally only have 1 small meal a day, however he still knows that there's something else bothering me. So he told me today that he's booked me an appointment with the school nurse and i want to tell her everything so i can try and get help. But the last thing i want is for my parents to find out, so will the school have to tell them? Because i don't want to go if they will!
Ask Sam



It sounds like there’s been a lot going on for you recently and I’m really glad that you decided to get in touch. It seems like you are starting to feel ready to tell an adult that you can trust about the things that are bothering you. I’m glad to hear that you’re thinking about getting some help.

I believe that talking about difficult thoughts, feelings and situations is the first step towards feeling more able to  cope with things over time. From what you’ve told me it sounds like your worries around your parents finding out are making it hard for you to get some support at the moment.

Remember that you don’t have to tell your school nurse everything all at once. You could ask about her confidentiality policy, so that you can feel more confident about deciding what sorts of things you want to talk about with her. Every school and school nurse work slightly differently, so it might be an idea to think about what sort of things she can keep confidential. You could also ask who else she would talk to if she was concerned about your safety.

I can hear how much you don’t want your parents to find out what’s happening for you at the moment. You haven’t told me how you think they might react. If your relationship with your family is adding to your stress at the moment, it might also be worth sharing that with the school nurse. Sometimes it can help to have another adult explaining things to parents from your point of view, and that’s something the school nurse might offer to help with.

You are always welcome to talk with ChildLine confidentially. Perhaps if you don’t feel able to talk to the nurse about some things at the moment you could consider speaking to a ChildLine counsellor. The counsellor can support you with what’s happening, how it’s making you feel and what you might like to happen.
I hope this is in someway helpful,


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