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To Sam



I used to selfharm, it's been almost a year since i last hurt myself and i don't want to do it again. But, i feel myself slipping into the ways i used to feel/act, and i don't like it and it's making me feel like harming again.

I only ever told one person that i harmed and that was because i really needed help to hide them and i didn't know what to do.... The person i told i thought would understand but the reacted badly and it just made me worse. a couple of weeks later i realized that i really had to stop and i eventually did.

It's just that now i cant stop thinking about it and i have tried all my usual things to help but its not helping..

I don't know what to do.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

You've taken a very important first step by recognising that you're at a point where you need some support with your feelings to help you stop self-harming. It’s not easy to realise when we're struggling to cope and need a little extra support.

It can be really hard to feel that an issue we thought we'd resolved or conquered comes back into our lives. Different things can work for different people and there might be times when you may need to use different coping strategies to cope with different feelings or situations.

It can always help to try new coping techniques to see what works for you. Even if you've tried something before, it can really help to try it again as you may find you respond differently next time. Trying things can help to lift your mood too, building activities into your week can help you to find things you enjoy and hopefully make you more likely to stick to them.

It's hard to think about telling someone else about your harming, when you have already told one person and that didn't go well. It's important to choose the right time, place and person and it can take a bit of thought and preparation to get it right - a Childline counsellor can help you to figure this out.

Self-harm can be really complicated and difficult to give up completely. Lots of young people who've stopped find that they feel they want to at times. And whilst a relapse can feel negative, it doesn’t take away the achievement of stopping for so long and it's important to remind yourself of that achievement from time to time. Choosing a positive alternative to self-harming when you feel the urge is really important. so it is important to be able to recognise triggers and warning signs for yourself.

Sometimes people find that if they are able to talk through their difficult feelings and worries, they may not want to self-harm as much. Many young people tell me that talking to a Childline counsellor when they feel like harming themselves can help them to cope with the feelings that made them want to harm. Perhaps this is something you could try when it feels hard to cope.

Take care,


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