Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my neighbour

Hi Sam,

My neighbour died a few days ago and it was a shock as she seemed fine and knowone was expecting it. We were really close and the whole village knew her, I'm really upset and going to miss her lots.

There is something that is worrying me though and that is that I don't want new neighbours. It is going to be strange not having her there and I don't want anyone to take her place. What's worse is that my aunty might move there which would be bad because of various family reasons.

I don't no what to do, I can't stop anything from happening but its upsetting me.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. I’m really pleased you did. I can hear that it's a very difficult and upsetting time for you and I’m pleased you've been able to reach out to me for support.

Losing somebody is not easy and this sounds particularly difficult because of how sudden it was. I can hear that you are left feeling really shocked about what’s happened. It's natural for you to miss her and wonder how things are going to change in the village.

Sometimes when we experience a sudden shock it can take a little time for our emotions to settle down. You mention that your neighbour died a few days ago so it's still very fresh and new for you, and loss can take time. There is no right or wrong emotion to feel during this sad and upsetting time. We have more information about this on our page about When someone dies.

When somebody dies it's very natural to feel you don’t want somebody new taking their place. However, there are ways of keeping their memory alive and celebrating their life and the opportunity you had to know them. One idea is to keep a memory box which could be decorated and personalised in your own way - and inside you can keep all the things that remind you of your neighbour.

Things may feel like they are changing with the possibility of new neighbours, but that doesn't mean the time spent and memories created are changing. The memories will always be with you. You may even make a new friend when the new neighbours move in – this doesn’t mean forgetting about your old neighbour though. You may find the website Winston’s Wish helpful for you.

You may like to reach out for support to someone around you during this difficult time, like a family member. They may want the opportunity to support you, especially when they know how worried you are about your aunty.

Remember there is always a ChildLine counsellor you can talk to. Losing somebody is hard so if you need somebody to talk to, we will be there for you.

Take care

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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