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To Sam

My Mother?

my mother and i have come to a disagreement she has felt that my personality has changed due to a "boy" which is false. i have tried to explain my feelings to her however im not sure what im feeling myself, its quite hard to explain. my best friends mum is friends with my mum meaning that they talk to each other ocasionally and tell each other what is going on with us. A few days ago i had an emotional break down due to stress at school,fear of failing and friends that are quite annoying . however my mother belives that during those days i was giving her attitude due to the fact that i was talking to a crush that she refers to him as "poison". she sugest that i shouldnt talk to him anymore but we have already built a relationship "i like him" keeping him away from me causes me to be more upset and stressed out i just have no idea what to do in this situation. talk to him behind my mothers keeping my feelings away from her or keep feeling like this and act as if nothing is happening
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter. You have done really well to explain to me what has been going on between you and your mum.

I can hear that your mum thinks your personality has changed since you met this boy and that you have been showing her some attitude. Sometimes people can influence our lives without us realising. Sometimes it is only people on the outside that are able to see the changes in our character or personality. It’s normal for parents to worry about their children and at times they will do whatever they have to in order to protect them and keep them safe. This could be what your mum is trying to do, although I can hear that you feel she has got it wrong and doesn't understand you.

It sounds as though being away from him will only cause you to be more upset and stressed. You might want to think about speaking to your mum again and being completely honest with her about how you are being made to feel and what would make you happy. If you were to go behind her back and she found out, it seems like that might make what she thinks about him even stronger.

Your thoughts and feelings are very important and you do deserve to be listened to and supported. Sometimes it can be hard for parents to recognise how much their children have been affected by something which is why it is important to be open. If you find speaking to your mum difficult you could always consider writing her a letter instead for her to read.

If you feel your mum is wrong about this boy, maybe it would help her to get to know him better. Maybe you could introduce him to your mum properly, so she can meet him and start to see him as the person he really is.

You’ve taken a really big step by writing to me and I’m really pleased you managed to do this. I hope you will feel able to get more support from ChildLine whenever you need it. You can do this by sending emails from your locker, you can have a 1-2-1 chat with a counsellor online or you could or you could ring for free on 0800 1111 and speak to a counsellor on the phone.

Take care,


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