Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My friend

H my friend thinks she's fat when she's not and there is a boy in school who call her fat which causes herto cut. What shall I do
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s good to hear from you, I am glad you’ve got in touch. It’s really good that you want to support your friend. I can hear how you’re really worried about your friend and how things are for you and her. I know it can be really hard supporting friends sometimes, especially when they behave in ways that are hard for us to understand.

It can be really upsetting to see friends hurt by other people. It is wrong to treat people in the way that your friend has been treated. From what you’ve said it sounds like your friend has some strong feelings at the moment. It sounds like cutting is how your friend is coping at the moment.

Cutting can often be done for individual reasons, and it can be hard for others to understand. Sometimes the best way to support a friend is to be there to listen to them and help them talk through the feelings they have.

You didn’t tell me how much you know about your friend’s cutting e.g. how often she does it and who else knows about it, but you have done really well in telling me this. If you did feel that cutting was putting your friend in danger, it would be important to tell someone who could help her or to call 999 in an emergency.

There is lots of information about self-harm in the explore section of the ChildLine website and on the ChildLine message boards that might really help your friend and help you support her. She can also get advice on how to stop bullying. It is also important to remember to look after ourselves when we are trying to help a friend we are concerned about.

From what you’ve said how things are have really affected your friend and worried you. If you or her wanted to talk things over more you could talk to a ChildLine counsellor. Some people have told me that they have explored the ChildLine website along with their friends while others tell them about having contacted the ChildLine service and what it was like to talk to one of their counsellors. This is something you could consider.

A ChildLine counsellor is also someone you could talk over your feelings with. ChildLine counsellors don’t judge and would be able to keep what you’ve said to me confidential. You can get in touch with a ChildLine counsellor through the Talk section of the website. You can email them, or log on for a 1-2-1 chat (like instant messenger) or you can call free on 0800 1111, without it showing up on any bills.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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