Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thank you for your letter. It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time with your dad right now.

From what you have said it sounds like your dad thinks you have an eating disorder - but you’re sure that you don’t. I can tell this is very frustrating for you, especially as he brings it up whenever you’re arguing. Arguing with a parent can make you feel really upset and angry and it might be that your dad also feels this way too when you argue with each other. It sounds like you’ve already tried to tell your dad your point of view but that you don’t feel he has listened.

I’m wondering what your relationship is like with your dad in general. Are there times when you and your dad get on better, perhaps when you’re doing something together? Doing things together can help you connect with each other and make your relationship less stressed out in general. It can also help to talk to parents about things that usually end up in arguments at times when you’re doing fun stuff together and the situation isn’t tense already. You might find it useful to have a look on the Family relationships page for some more helpful advice.

Perhaps you could talk to your dad about what’s making him feel worried that you have an eating disorder. Once you know why he thinks this you could work through these worries together. This could help him stop worrying. It’s also a good idea to tell your dad about how it makes you feel when he says that you have an eating disorder. He might not realise how much this is upsetting you. If you feel like you can’t tell him face to face, you could write it down in a letter or email and give it to him. We also have more advice about how to talk to an adult you trust, like your dad.

You can talk this through some more if you need to with a ChildLine counsellor. Well done for writing to me and I hope this helps.

Take care,

Sam