Myself and my now-ex boyfriend started dating in may but for years now I've always wondered if I was a lesbian. During the confusion, I was openly bisexual. He was super supportive of me. Halfway through the relationship I came out as non-binary. Again, super supportive. But the thoughts got louder.
A few days ago, I asked him if we could take a break. He agreed. I told him I have no idea who I am anymore. He asked me why and tried to make me talk about it. I felt guilty in not knowing how to tell him. I just told him I needed some time to figure things out. Today he messaged me. He asked if I planned to take a long break from our relationship. I was open, honest and told him I think I'm gay. He was shocked. He tried telling me he thinks I'm still bisexual but that's not how I feel anymore.
But my question is, if he's so supportive about our breakup, why do I feel so guilty/like it's all my fault?
Thanks for reading
Sam
Hi there,
Ending a relationship can often mean doing something your partner doesn’t want. Even if they’re supportive and understanding about it, it can be hard to know that they’re upset. Feeling guilty about a break-up doesn’t stop it being the right thing to do.
Every relationship is different. When one ends, it’s important to think about what’s best to help you both feel better. Even when someone is supportive, having time apart can help you both to move on. You might want to be friends, but that’s not always possible if they still see you as someone they want a relationship with.
Take time to focus on doing positive things. You could do something productive or that helps you feel proud of yourself, or you could try spending time with others you care about. Doing something good for yourself can help you feel better overall.
Trying to help your ex feel better might feel like the right thing to do, but it’s not always going to be helpful and won’t stop you feeling guilty. If you’re worried about someone’s mental health after a break-up, remember that it’s always okay to talk to an adult you trust about it.
Coming out takes a lot of courage, and you should feel proud of yourself for doing it. It’s natural to need time to understand or accept your sexuality. Remember, if you ever need to talk about how you’re feeling, breaking up, or anything else, Childline is here for you.
Take care,
Sam
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