Ask Sam letter


To Sam

i think i need help after someone died

Hiya Sam,

i recently lost someone very close to me and im having some extreme mood swings, i dont know what mood im going to wake up in. Ive been stuck in a depressive state the last few weeks struggling with every simple task and im constantly crying.However some days i wake up super early really energetic and ready for the day ill do things that i struggle with like talking (alot),sitting with my family,going on late night walks and smoking. I also get no sleep on these days as im super awake and excited. Im really not sure whats going on and i dont know what to do please help :)

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s natural to feel sad or cry when you’ve lost someone and changes in your mood can be your way of grieving for the person who’s died.

You might find it hard to talk about how you’re feeling and you might not want to spend time with other people, especially when you’re struggling with your emotions. But even if it’s hard, talking to other people can help you to feel less alone with your loss. You don’t even have to talk about the person who died or how you’re feeling, just being with people and trying to do everyday activities can help you feel less confused and lost.

Another thing that might make you feel better is getting some sleep. Not sleeping can affect your mood too and make it harder to know how you feel from day to day. You could try writing your thoughts and feelings in a mood journal before going to bed. Doing this means that you’re not going to sleep with lots of thoughts on your mind. It’s all about finding ways to cope that aren’t harmful and that don’t put you at risk

It's also good to make time to remember the person whose died. They were an important part of your life and still will be even though they're not here any more. We're all influenced by the significant people in our lives, and knowing them often shapes who we are now, our beliefs, and our points of view.

Remembering the times you spent together, not just big events but the little things, like daily chores or times when you shared a joke, can really help too. Thinking about the times you felt closest to them can help you feel close to them now. And even though that might feel difficult, it can have positive effects too.

As time goes on you’ll start to feel less upset, although the pain of losing someone close will always be there in some way. You will start to feel sad less often and it often begins to hurt less. In the meantime, extreme mood swings can feel scary and its always okay to ask for help if you’re worried about how you feel. Try talking to an adult you trust, like a close family member or to your doctor. If you don’t have those options and feel like you can’t cope, our counsellors are always around to listen and talk about anything that’s bothering you.

Thank you for writing to me.

Take care,


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