Hi Sam, I'm 12 years of age. My mum keeps shouting at me and blaming me for things and saying "I wish your was never born" as my dad walked out on her. My mum sometimes beats me, and I feel embrassed when I have to go school, with these blue/red marks on my arm, They hurt quite abit I do still love my Mum, but sometimes I wish she would never to Hurtful to me. Sometimes she can shout at me on the streets, and everyone see's, It so embrassing! I wish I never had this life I've never asked for it, x
I'm so glad youve written to tell me how you feel about your mum.
It sounds like things at home are really hard and I can understand how you would have such mixed feelings about your mum. It sounds like your mum is finding it hard to cope with your dad leaving, but as your parent she's responsible for your safety and wellbeing, whether she's feeling ok or not. I'm concerned about the ways mum is hurting you. Not only is being beaten by an adult wrong, its against the law, and I think its important that you know that.
From what you've said, it's clear that your mum is hurting and embarrassing you with her words as well as her actions. I can hear how difficult that is for you. It is not ok for your mum to say things like I wish you were never born. Making those kinds of comments is emotional abuse. You say you wish you never had this life and you didn't ask for it. You're right, no child asks to be treated badly and it's not your fault that this is happening. You deserve to get the support you need to feel safer and happier at home. You might find it useful to read more about emotional and physical abuse in the Info and Advice section.
You've told me that sometimes you've gone to school with bruises. Remember, if you are ever in pain, it is your right to ask for help from an adult you trust, like a teacher or school nurse. I wonder if anyone at school has ever asked you about your bruises and what you might have said about it? If a teacher knew that your mum was beating you, they would want to do something about it. That might mean asking social services to talk to you and to mum, so they can give both of your some support. Part of your teachers job is to help make sure you are safe, both at school and at home. Perhaps you could think about whether there are any adults in your life who you would like to talk to about this.
I'd like you to know that the counsellors at ChildLine are here to keep listening and supporting you as much as you want. You can talk to them for free by phone or, if you prefer, you can log in for a 1-2-1 chat. Youve taken such a big step writing to me. ChildLine would like to support you to take some more steps to feel safer and better.