i dont know what to do my mom has antinatle depression and she lashes out on me i have attempted overdose and attempted self harm i have scars but thats old news and my mom tells me she wants me to do well in school and so does my dad but i can't help but feel depressed as my mom doesn't help me and i get picked on at school alot oh she's a whimp ,fat and a pussy and more i can't control myself i can't help but wanna do something i wanted to end every thing so i grabbed pills and a blade and lay there i don't know what happend from tthen but i think my mom found the packet as she needed the tablets and couldn't find them i'm confuesed but i have no idea what to do as im loosing focus plz help me ?
Sam
Hi there,
Thank you for your letter, I am really pleased you have written to me and asked me for some help.
From what you have said it sounds like youre going through a really tough time at the moment with mum lashing out at you and being bullied at school. I can hear that things became quite overwhelming and you felt that you wanted to end everything. Sometimes the pain we feel inside is so strong and hard to bear that we consider options that involve harming ourselves. It takes courage to be able to talk about this and to ask for help - you have done well in writing to me about this.
You mentioned mum is suffering from antenatal depression, I can hear this is having a big affect on you as she seems to be taking things out on you. It can be difficult for someone who is suffering from depression to see the affect they are having on others. Sometimes they do not see how their behaviour is affecting those around them. You did not say how you and mum get along but some people find talking to their parent about how they feel can help.
Being called horrible names at school should not happen, this is bullying and its wrong, being called names like those you mentioned is wrong and your school has a responsibility to help you with this. You did not mention if you had spoken to a teacher about this, talking to a teacher can help to stop what is happening, your school have a duty to make sure you feel happy and safe in your school. You may like to have a look at the message boards and Explore pages on bullying.
You asked me for help and I hope something in this letter is helpful to you. You can also talk to a ChildLine counsellor: they can have a conversation with you on the phone by calling 0800 1111 or you can chat to them online on a live 1-2-1 chat or you can even send them an email. They will be able to explore your feelings with you and talk about what support is available to you. They will not tell anyone what you have said, you can read about ChildLines confidentiality policy on the website.
Take care,
Sam
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